Second Chances
by PastPotatoes
Summary: Sarah Kerrigan is dead. But after a discovery made by the Zerg, will Jim Raynor have a second chance at love or will his past experiences stop him from being happy? RaynorxKerrigan
1. Her Death

The war was over. They'd won. Amon was dead and the hybrids were defeated. But the cost was high and Jim Raynor was about to lose big-time.

He'd seen her go down. He'd see her get hit by a number of energy weapons from multiple directions and she'd fallen from her floating position near a group of Zerg.

He'd gotten to her barely in time. As he approached her he saw her shattered body stretched on the floor. Her wings had been torn off in the attack and her hardened abdomen was shredded. She lay there lifeless.

He wasn't sure she was alive as he knelt down beside her and took her face in his hand. She groaned at his touch and forced her eyes open to look at him. He'd looked into her brilliant purple eyes and told her everything was going to be alright. She'd smiled at him and brought a hand up to cup his face but she lacked the strength to raise it up and she settled for touching his chest instead.

He smiled back at her and urged her to hang on. He carried her to his ship and placed her gently inside. He'd brought her onboard the Hyperion and carried her straight to the sickbay. He'd placed her injured body down onto the bed and held her hand tightly as medics worked around her in a futile attempt to save her life.

"There's nothing we can do for her," came the soft words of a doctor Jim barely heard although the words echoed in his skull and shattered his heart. "We can make her comfortable, but you should say your goodbyes," the voice told him.

Jim felt tears burning away at his eyes as he looked down at her beautiful face. Her eyelids half closed and her purple eyes unfocused. "Sarah, can you hear me?" he asked as he moved his face closer to hers. He placed the hand that wasn't holding hers to her face and turned it to face his. "It's me, it's Jim," he said softly to her.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. She forced a smile past the pain that was slowly fading.

"Hey," he smiled back at her trying to hold back his tears. "The doctors say you are going to be fine." He stroked her face with his thumb gently.

She forced a deeper smile. "Liar," she said softly to him although thankful he'd tried to hide the truth. She could feel her life draining away through her injuries. She saw the tears lining his eyes and felt tears at her own.

"You just have to hang on," his voice was raspy as he forced the lump in his throat away.

She closed her eyes for a moment but that didn't stop a tear from escaping and rolling down her cheek. She forced her eyes open and held Jim's hand as tight as her weak hand could manage. "I wanted to be your wife," she said barely louder than a whisper.

"You're going to be," he told her optimistically with a smile on his lips but with glazed eyes.

She closed her eyes again.

"Sarah," he called to her. She couldn't go yet; he wasn't done telling her all the things he wanted to tell her.

She opened her eyes. "It doesn't hurt anymore," she said peacefully.

Jim felt the tears break loose from his eyes and he cursed himself for not being strong for her. "Just hold on, darlin'," he told her. "Think about our wedding day, and the house we're going to live in, and the beautiful children we're going to have."

She smiled happily. "Our family," she beamed at the thought.

"Our family," he repeated. "We'll live happy ever after."

She coughed slightly as she smiled.

He saw the glow of her eyes begin to fade and his heart felt as though it was being ripped out. "I love you so much," he promised her.

"I love you, too," she whispered. "My knight in shining armour," she barely breathed.

His heart fluttered as he heard her call him that once again. Although he couldn't save her this time.

"Kiss me," she begged weakly.

He smiled and raised himself off the chair. He moved his hand from her face and placed it under her neck, lifting her slightly off the pillow. He took her lips in his and gently kissed the woman he loved.

She kissed him back. She felt happiness and at peace finally.

A few moments had passed and Jim could tell Sarah had stopped kissing him back. He pulled away from her and realised she was gone. "Sarah?" he whispered in an attempt to wake her. "Darlin'?" he said softly as tears spilled from his eyes.

She died at approximately 2200 hours in his arms. He held her until the morning came, unwilling to leave her side and let go of her forever.

He'd taken her body to TarKossia and buried her beneath a beautiful willow tree. He decorated it with a simple plaque which read "Sarah Raynor". He wasn't willing to risk anyone finding a grave with the name "Sarah Kerrigan" on it and desecrating it. He knew she would have wanted it this way.

As he'd laid her body into the grave he'd considered laying right down there with her and dying. They'd at least be together and he wouldn't have to suffer each day knowing she wasn't there.

He pulled the blanket that was covering her face away for one last look. Even in death she was beautiful. He stroked her cold pale face and took in every inch of her.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you, darlin'," he said to her as tears blurred his vision. "I hope you are some place you can be happy now," she'd had a life full of sadness, betrayal and abuse and he hoped that wasn't all her poor soul would experience.

"I loved you," his voice cracked as he spoke and tears ran down his cheeks. "I wanted to make you happy and take away your pain. We were supposed to be together but," he couldn't finish speaking before emotions forced his throat closed.

"I will always love you," he forced out as he moved towards her and gave her one last kiss. He pulled the blanket back over her face, "Goodbye".

He didn't want to leave her there alone. He had no idea where her parents had been buried and she had never spoken about anyone else. He was saddened to think he was the only person she ever had in her life. He would later make Matt promise he was buried beside her when his time came.

* * *

**Before you flame me for killing Kerrigan off... please read Chapter 2!**


	2. Not Coping

**6 Months Later**

Jim was woken by the loud bleeping of the communications device in his quarters. He opened his eyes and the bright light he was met with forced them closed again. He'd survived another night much to his disappointment. There was only one thing to lift his spirits, make his head feel better and to stop that incessant noise and that was getting up and getting another whisky.

He was about to push himself off his bed when he realised he wasn't in his bed at all. At some point he'd fallen off his chair and was now curled up on the floor. To him that just meant getting another drink was closer. He pulled himself up with the help of the chair and hit the communicator on his desk to make it stop.

He poured himself a large whisky and took a long swig. It made his pain go away for a fraction of a microsecond. He had lost everything. Everyone he'd ever loved was dead. He had no job and no place to go. He spent his time on the Hyperion hiding away from the crew whose lives he'd done nothing to help.

He took another swig and hoped it would bring him one step closer to death. One step closer to being reunited with Sarah. And Johnny. And Liddy. And his mother. And his father. And all those friends he'd lost across the years. Well, except the ones that were rotting in hell.

The communicator started again. He answered it just to stop it from beeping at him again. "What?" he asked irritably as Matt Horner's face appeared on the screen.

"Jim," Matt said to greet him. He noted how dreadful Jim looked but pushed it aside to cut to the chase. "There is someone in the sick bay you have to meet," he said seriously.

"I'm not in the mood for meeting and greeting," Jim said and was about to shut off the communication.

Matt saw Jim's hand head towards the off button and quickly spoke. "It's Sarah," he shouted.

Jim froze and was sure he'd misheard Matt. There was no way Sarah could be in the sick bay. He looked at Matt ready to punch the screen for using her name to get his attention.

Matt relaxed as he realised he'd gotten Jim's attention. Unfortunately he saw Jim looked angry now and he wondered if he'd just poked a sleeping bear. "As you know, a brood mother by the name of Zagara has taken over control of the swarm," he began. "She contacted us after they found something on Char."

Jim stared at Matt hoping he was going to get to a point soon.

"It was a type of chrysalis, hidden deep into the planet," Matt continued slowly. "Zagara told us it contained the," he searched for the word she had used for a moment, "'template' for the Queen of Blades."

Jim's eyes narrowed.

"Naturally we sent one of our support vessels teamed with scientists to check it out and they brought it back with them after they found out what was inside," he paused.

Jim was now mildly interested. "What's inside?"

"Who," Matt corrected him.

Jim frowned and wondered who would still be on Char. "Who?"

"Sarah Kerrigan was inside it," Matt said clearly. "She's in the sickbay now."


	3. The Mystery Woman

Jim's mind was racing. He wished he could run to see her but he looked a state. But what he looked like didn't matter. All that mattered was Sarah wasn't dead. Or was she? How could she be in that Chrysallis? If it could even be called a Chrysallis. Apparently, according to the science team, it was merely sustaining her body instead of changing it.

He rushed down to the sick bay knowing full well he stunk of both body odour and alcohol but he didn't care. He found a number of scientists and some medical staff discussing something but they stopped as he appeared. "Where is she?" he asked frankly.

One of the doctors looked at him then to a monitor on the nearby desk. It showed a woman sat on a bed with her legs pulled up to her chest and her head down. The feed at the bottom of the picture showed it was a view of Room #2 and Jim headed straight towards the door.

As he walked through the door he took a breath as he saw the ghost on the bed.

The woman was sat on the bed with her arms wrapped around her knees and her face buried in them. She wore a white patient's gown and her fiery red hair was there although mildly dishevelled but still in the style of Kerrigan's signature ponytail.

"Sarah?" he asked, scared to say it in case the face looked at him and it wasn't her. Or scared that it would be her.

She raised her head from her knees.

His jaw dropped as he realised it _was_ her. His entire body froze and he just stared at her. He felt butterflies in his stomach and he had to force himself to breathe.

"Jim," she smiled as she saw not just a familiar face but that it was Jim's. Her smile fell as she looked closer at him. He looked older, worried, she might even use the word haggard.

He took a few steps towards her as he looked over her features. She looked exactly as she did the day he first met her and she was as every bit as beautiful as he remembered.

"What's going on?" she asked confused. "We're on the Hyperion but I don't know these people," her voice was laced with panic. "And where is Mengsk?" her voiced turned to one of anger.

Why didn't she know that? Jim frowned as he heard that name. "He's dead," he told her, neglecting the details of his death. He noted that Sarah didn't seem too upset to learn that. "As for the Hyperion..." he wasn't sure why she expected to know everyone.

She looked away from him to let the information settle then looked back at him. "What happened?" she asked softly realising something must have gone down if Mengsk was dead and the crew gone.

He moved to the side of her bed and sat down on the edge. Scared of getting too close to her. The Sarah he loved was supposed to be dead and now she was sat in front of him as if nothing had happened. "What's the last thing you remember?" he looked into her perfect green eyes.

She lowered her head as she thought of how scared she'd felt, how alone, surrounded by a huge wave of Zerg and no sign of any rescue. She took a breath and looked back at him. "I remember the Protoss were gone and we only had to deal with the Zerg. I used the last of my ammo to take out a hydralisk. There were Zerg approaching from every direction and I knew no one was coming to get me," she said softly. "I remember looking up at the sky and thinking this was it. Then I was waking up here," she said vaguely.

"Tarsonis?" he clarified.

She was surprised he asked her that, where else would she be talking about? "Yeah," she answered.

"You don't remember going to Char?" he pondered.

"Char?" she asked. She knew it was the name of a planet but nothing more.

He looked at her and wondered why she didn't remember. "Do you know who the Queen of Blades is?" he asked her as he watched her face for any signs of recognition.

She saw the way he was looking at her and she felt uneasy. She shook her head at the unfamiliar title.

Jim looked away from her to think clearly. The woman he loves is right there. Looking exactly how she is supposed to. Except she's _supposed_ to be dead. He buried her. He buried her as the Queen of Blades. And now she's alive and human and doesn't remember a thing. Not even who the Queen the Blades was.

"Jim, tell me what's happening?" she asked with concern in her voice. She scooted down the bed towards him and reached a hand out for his.

He pulled his hand away and jumped off the bed. Scared that if he touched her then it proved she was real. He knew this couldn't be real. He must have knocked his head when he fell of his chair or something. That's it. He's lying on the floor of his quarters. Maybe he did hit his head and he's dead. And this _is_ his Sarah helping him cross over.

Sarah wondered what she had done wrong and looked away from him. Only days ago they had made love for the first time and clearly Jim was having second thoughts about their 'relationship'. "Are you mad at me because I went through with Mengsk's plan?" she asked.

Jim looked at her and wished she'd stop talking like Tarsonis just happened.

"How did I get back to the Hyperion? He was going to leave me down there," she surmised sadly.

"He did leave you down there," Jim told her straight. "He ordered the fleet away and left you there to die."

She knew it. "Then you must have been the one to come after me?" she hoped he'd say it was him. He'd always been there for her. Maybe going after her had caused some problem which is why he was so distant.

"I did go after you," he said sadly. "But you were gone. The Zerg took you and..." he stopped himself from talking.

"They infested me?" she barely managed to say the words out loud. That had to be it. That's why she couldn't remember anything. That's why Jim looked older and everyone was gone. That's why Jim was being so cold.

"They..." he stopped himself from talking. He couldn't handle it. He turned and headed for the door. He left and closed the door behind him quickly. He leant his back against the door and breathed heavily. He looked at the doctors and asked them, "Is that her or not?" He couldn't bear to lose her again if it turned out it wasn't her.


	4. Who She Is

Jim returned to the room of scientists and doctors and stared at the monitor on the desk. Nothing in the picture told him it wasn't her. The build, her figure, the red hair, it matched Sarah's. He stared at it and felt angry as he looked at her. "Sarah Kerrigan is dead," he said coldly. The person on the screen couldn't be her.

"We ran a DNA test and it matches," a tall doctor told him. "That woman _is_ Sarah Kerrigan."

"Then they found some way to fake it, some way to fool your tests," Jim added, unwilling to believe it was Sarah in there.

The doctor shook his head.

Jim breathed hard. "She died. I buried her," he pushed down his emotions as he felt them rise up in him. "I buried her and she was Zerg," he added. "How is she here now and human?"

"The Zerg leader, Zagara, described what was in the Chrysallis as a 'template'. We think, maybe, the woman in the sickbay is the original Sarah Kerrigan," the doctor said slowly.

"The original?" Jim asked somewhat confused by the statement.

"We think the Queen of Blades was some type of clone or something made _from_ the original. Perhaps that's why the Xel'naga device couldn't make her completely human; because she never was supposed to be human," one of the scientists theorised.

"So that woman, Sarah, in there right now, she's human?" Jim asked curiously.

"She's completely human," the doctor told him. "There is absolutely no trace of any Zerg mutagen in her.

"The chrysalis she was in was certainly interesting," another of the scientists added. "We're looking at it for all types of possible breakthroughs; suspended animation, anti-aging, regeneration."

Jim didn't care about the chrysalis. He cared about Sarah. "She doesn't remember what happened to her," he stated, hoping someone could tell him why.

"No," someone said. "She was probably unconscious the whole time since they took her from Tarsonis ."

"Why would they keep her around? They got what they wanted from her to make the Queen of Blades," Raynor asked sceptically.

"They probably kept her around in case they needed to make another one," one of the scientists pondered. "If the Queen of Blades died they could just make another. The Zerg were more powerful with her than without her. That was proven when she was deinfested."

Another of the scientists chimed in. "You know, it's possible the Queen of Blades we saw over the five years might not have been the same one the whole time."

"It's possible there is another Queen of Blades out there waiting," another scientist said.

"Unlikely, she would have taken back the swarm by now if that was the case," the doctor shot down his idea.

"I wonder if the Queen of Blades knew she wasn't the real Kerrigan?" another of the scientists pondered.

Raynor was done listening to the scientists bat ideas around. He looked at the screen and he realised it was _his_ Kerrigan. The woman who had called him a pig, the woman who he had fought side by side with, the woman he had made love to those many years ago. "It's her," he said softly.

The doctors and scientists looked at him and were silently realising they'd been going off topic and were neglecting to appreciate Raynor's emotions in this.

"What have you told her?" Raynor asked, knowing he was about to have a long conversation with the woman on the screen.

"Not much. We took most of the samples for the tests while she was unconscious and we gave her some drugs to block her psionic abilities," one of the doctors added. "We thought she might be dangerous. We've only said niceties to her while we've taken further samples explaining that someone would be by later to explain everything."

"I'm that someone," Raynor said regretfully. He took a breath and left the room. His mind was blank as to what he was going to say but he continued into Sarah's room slowly and looked at her. He was still freaked out by the situation but he forced a smile for her sake. He closed the door and walked towards her.

She looked away from him and focused on the arms she had wrapped around her legs. Her human arms and her human legs. How could she be infested if she couldn't see anything wrong with herself?

"How are you feeling?" he asked her. He knew it was a stupid thing to say the moment it left his lips.

She looked up at him as if to say something but stopped. She focused on her arms again and thought. "Am I infested?" she asked, afraid of the answer.

He frowned that he'd made her think that and then felt a moment's joy as for once in many years he could answer the question confidently. "No."

"You said the Zerg took me," she reminded him as she looked back at him.

He said nothing, unsure of how he could explain it all to her.

"Tell me the truth," she begged.

He looked into her waiting eyes and couldn't bear to be away from her for any longer. He paced forward and wrapped his arms around her and held her. She felt so right against him and he held her harder. He turned his head and buried his face into the soft red hair he hadn't seen for years.

Sarah hugged him back and relaxed into his body.

A moment passed then he realised he was hugging a woman who was dead. The woman he'd spent four years of his life pining for, risking everything to bring her back on Char, helping her regain her humanity, only for him to lose her again to the Zerg, then get her back and then lose her forever. The woman in his arms was a memory he thought he buried. He pulled away from her and turned away to hide the tears forming in his eyes. "I can't do this," he told her without looking at her. He headed for the door confused about his feelings for the woman in the room with him. Did he love her or the woman who died? All the memories of the last five years of loving her meant nothing.

"Jim," she called to him. "What happened?" she was aspirated.

He looked to her and spoke slowly and quietly, "You died."

Her jaw dropped, "I... what?"

He turned around and edged towards her out of instinct; wanting to be near and comfort her as she was in pain. "No, not you," he took it back and shook his head.

Sarah was confused. "You thought I died?" she wondered if that's what he meant.

"Yeah," he added.

An awkward silence grew between them and Raynor though about leaving again.

"Jim," Sarah said softly.

He gave a small nod to indicate he was listening.

"Can I ask you something?"

"You've never held back before," he tried to break the tension but failed.

She took a breath. "Do you regret sleeping with me?" she asked shyly.

"What?" he looked at her in shock at her question.

"The other night," she fidgeted slightly on the bed. "After Sam's Place," she reminded him though she knew he wouldn't have forgotten. "Do you regret what happened?"

It had been five years ago but he remembered that night perfectly and cherished the memory of it. "Absolutely not," he swore.

"Because if you want to pretend like it never happened, then..."

He interrupted her, "Making love to you was one of the best nights of my life."

Sarah blushed as he described their night together as one of the best nights of his life.

He smiled as he remembered her lying in his arms. He felt a lump form in his throat as he realised he had been in love with her even then. That even before her supposed ordeal of the last five years he had been completely in love with her. The last five years just kept his love alive for her. He loved the woman in front of him right now. He moved closer to her and put his hand on her face. "I love you," he said slowly and gently kissed her.

She kissed him back as she felt tiny butterflies in her stomach. It was the first time he'd said that to her although she'd felt for some time he was falling in love with her. "I love you, too," she admitted as he pulled back from her.

He sighed out of happiness and frustration. He had so much to tell her but he knew it would upset her.

"Jim, what's wrong?" she asked, concerned by his state.

He realised she was the person he could talk to. "It's a long story. I've been to hell and back," he said.

"Tell me," she encouraged him and moved over on the bed making space for him to sit beside her.

He sat on the bed beside her and said nothing.

She held his hand and waited. A few minutes passed and she looked at him. "You look tired," she remarked.

He nodded.

"Lay down," she whispered.

He hesitated for a moment and realised lying with the woman he loved wouldn't hurt. He leant back and relaxed on the bed. He reached his arm out gesturing her to lay down in his arms.

She pulled the blanket over them both and laid on his chest. "I'm here whenever you want to talk."

He placed a hand on her head and stroked her hair. He didn't want to ruin the perfect moment by telling her everything that had happened so he said nothing. He looked down at the woman on his chest and smiled before he closed his eyes and relaxed. For the first time in a long time he felt hopeful.


	5. Five Years

When Jim woke he wasn't sure if Sarah being alive and well was just a dream until he looked down and saw the red-haired beauty still lying on his chest. He had one hand rested gently in her now loose hair and the other on her shoulder. He saw her eyes were closed and realised she was still sleeping. He smiled at her and knew he could stay like this forever.

He closed his eyes again and listened to her breathe. He felt her warm breath on his arm and it all seemed so real. His only regret right now was that he hadn't removed his clothes or her gown so he could feel her against him. He longed to feel more of her warm skin against him - a stark contrast to the cold body he'd laid in the grave and kissed goodbye.

He opened his eyes and looked at her again. He noted how peaceful she looked and how angelic. He hoped she would be able to sleep peacefully after he had told her everything that happened in the last five years; that mass murder had been committed in her name.

He stroked her hair gently to remind himself that wasn't her. That the Queen of Blades was something else and that the woman he was with now, although a killer, didn't do the horrific things the Queen of Blades had done.

She began to stir in his arms as she felt him toy with her hair. She kept her eyes closed and snuggled against Jim's body.

"Hey, darlin'," he whispered softly as he felt her move.

"Hey," she replied softly as she tried to go back to sleep. Jim was comfy and she didn't want to leave his embrace.

"Sleepy?" he asked warmly. She groaned something incomprehensible that Jim interpreted as a yes. He found it amusing she'd slept for five years in the chrysalis and was now still sleepy. He continued to play with her hair as he watched her.

They were interrupted by one of the doctors entering the room, followed by a nurse carrying a meal tray. "I was wondering when you two would wake up," the doctor said cheerfully. "I want to take another blood sample, if that's alright?" he asked the fake-sleeping Sarah. "Afterwards you can have some breakfast," he nodded to the tray the nurse was placing on the table beside the bed.

Sarah said nothing and pretended to be asleep.

Jim frowned. "Why do you need more blood?" he asked on her behalf. He knew she hated being subjected to any type of medical tests but he hoped she didn't have to worry about these.

"Just a comparison," the doctor answered. "Everything should be fine. Then she can get out of here."

He smiled as he thought of taking her back to his quarters and welcoming her back properly. "You hear that, darlin'?" he asked her. "Breakfast is here."

She opened her eyes and looked at him.

He would never get tired of looking into those green eyes.

"I don't want another blood test," she whined. "I feel fine."

"It won't take long," Jim promised her. He knew after the last five years that one could never be too certain when it came to Kerrigan and her DNA; he was happy to put his trust in the doctors if it meant that he really did have the real Sarah Kerrigan back. "Do it, for me," he said softly.

She forced a smile, "Last one?"

"Last one," he smiled.

She pushed herself up and extended an arm out to the doctor without taking her eyes away from Jim's. "You owe me," she told him. She looked at the doctor. "When will my psionic abilities come back?" she asked.

"Within the next day," the doctor answered as he took her blood. He looked at Jim.

Jim knew the doctor wanted him to tell him about the Queen of Blades before she read it from someone's mind. He planned to do that soon.

Sarah could tell something was going on between the two men and she wondered what they were keeping from her. Hopefully Jim would tell her within the next day. Her focus moved to the meal tray on the table. "What's for breakfast?" she asked realising she was feeling hungry.

Jim grabbed the meal tray and rested it on his lap, removing the cover. He frowned when he saw it was just toast.

"We don't want to give you too much after being unconscious for so long," the doctor told Sarah then realised what he'd said the moment he had. He finished up taking her blood and readied to leave.

"How long was I out for?" Sarah asked Jim as she prepared to grab a piece of toast.

"A while," Jim simply said. He adjusted his position to prop himself up against the bed's headboard and gestured for her to join him.

The doctor and nurse left the room giving the two some well needed space.

She scooted up the bed to be beside him but sat cross legged beside him as she pulled apart a piece of toast in her fingers and ate a small chunk.

He smiled at her as he remembered the way she used to pull food like that apart before she ate it. "You're cute when you eat," he told her. He put an arm around her waist and watched her eat.

"Shut up," she said playfully. "Have some," she told him.

He shook his head. He wasn't about to pinch her food plus he'd wait to have something more gastronomically pleasing later.

"Have some," she said again as she brought some up to his mouth.

He opened his mouth and let her feed him.

She giggled and let her hand linger on his face for a moment.

"I missed you," he couldn't help but tell her what he felt.

Her smile fell and she took her hand away. She looked down at the toast in her hand and put it on the meal tray on Jim's lap. She looked back at him seriously. "What happened?"

He took a breath and moved the tray back to the table. He sat up and looked at her intensely. "I love you," he said. "I don't want to hurt you."

She said nothing as she froze at his words.

"If I tell you, then I can't undo it. I can't take it back," he said sadly.

"Tell me," she begged softly.

"If I heard someone tell me what I have to tell you..." he looked at her and felt a vice tighten around his heart.

"Tell me," she begged again.

"I said the Zerg took you from Tarsonis," he said softly.

She nodded to show she remembered that bit.

"They took you to a planet called Char and put you inside a chrysalis," he added. "Although it wasn't really a chrysalis... it didn't change you it just kept you asleep for a long time."

She frowned. "How long?" she asked fearing the answer.

"I never stopped loving you that whole time," he promised her.

"How long?" she asked again louder, getting frustrated at Jim delaying his answer.

He took a breath and spoke very slowly, "Five years."

It caught her breath and her lips parted. "That's why you look older," she said with tears forming in her eyes.

He nodded. "Lots of things have changed," he added.

She was expecting him to tell her he now had a wife and kids and that they were over. Not to mention the millions of other possible turn of events relating to consequences following the battle on Tarsonis and the aliens fighting around them. She had a million questions but she said nothing and looked down. Five years.

He took her hands in his and gently rubbed them with his thumbs. "We tried to find you on Tarsonis but you were gone. I thought you were..." he didn't dare say 'dead'. "A few of us left Mengsk and formed a group against him." He was about to continue when he noticed a tear drop from her face. He put a hand under her chin and raised her face to his.

She felt ashamed crying like a teenage girl. The man she loved thought she was dead than there would be nothing stopping him from finding someone else. Their relationship was still so new there is no way he would have taken five years to grieve for her.

He cupped her face as he realised she wasn't handling the whole 'asleep for five years' thing. He looked into her damp eyes and smiled. "You didn't miss too many good things these last five years," he promised. "Things are better with the universe now though."

She forced a smile. "Will," she was reluctant to ask. "Will your wife be angry you're with me?"

He was confused. "Wife?"

"Five years," she whispered. "Do you have children?" she knew he always wanted more. She actually thought if he did have children then it meant he was happy and she didn't have to feel so sad.

He smiled at her as he realised she was trying to ask him if he'd moved on. He shook his head. "I waited for you," he told her.

"You waited? For a dead woman?" she was surprised and confused by his answer.

"When you were in the chrysalis you called to me telepathically and I knew you were alive," he added.

She smiled.

"We went to Char and tried to save you," his smile slipped as he remembered watching the Queen of Blades break out of the chrysalis. He now wasn't sure _who_ had called out to him across the stars but it didn't matter as even if Mengsk himself had told him Sarah was there he would have gone.

"Tried to?" she knew things hadn't gone well if it had taken five years.

"We didn't know..." he trailed off. "The Zerg took your DNA and..." he didn't want to tell her.

"What did they do?" she wondered what they'd want with her DNA.

"They created a Zerg," he explained. "She looked like you, had your memories, even your personality."

Sarah pulled back from him and felt sick at the idea of a Zerg running around with her face.

"We thought she was you," he said regretfully.

"What?" she barely breathed in shock.

He held her hands tighter. "You have to understand if I had known you weren't her there is nothing in this universe that would have stopped me from finding you."

She felt better hearing his words. "This thing... this Zerg... what did she do?" she asked reluctantly.

Jim frowned. "Many terrible things," he said sadly. "But it wasn't you," he added.

"Did she hurt you?" she asked, hoping the answer would be no.

He shook his head. "She had many chances to, but she didn't. She loved me like you do," he explained.

"She loved you?" she repeated. "You loved her back?" she could tell as he spoke about her Zerg self that he had feelings for her.

He nodded. "A year ago we got her back, we made her human, mostly, and she was you. She was lovely and I had no reason to think she wasn't you," he explained himself.

"You were with her?" she felt jealous and betrayed. Although she knew she couldn't blame Jim.

"For about a month," he said regretfully. "But she went back to the Zerg and changed herself back."

Sarah was surprised to hear it. There is no way she herself would give up Jim in favour of the Zerg; especially now they had stolen five years of their life together.

"It was complicated," he added. "Mengsk manipulated her even then."

Her expression turned darker as she heard his name.

"You don't have to worry about him," he comforted her. "She killed him for everything he did."

"Everything he did?" she knew she had a score to settle with him for leaving her on Tarsonis but there was more?

"After Tarsonis the Confederacy was pretty much gone. Naturally Mengsk assumed power. The Sons of Korhal became the Dominion and he ruled over many worlds." He looked down at their hands and took a breath before looking in his eyes. "After he left you to die a few of us broke away. Mengsk painted us out to be terrorists. I became public enemy number one."

Sarah frowned.

"He played her, too," he added. "If it wasn't for him she wouldn't have gone back to the Zerg. She thought I was dead and she had nothing else but vengeance," he said sorrowfully.

"You really loved her," Sarah said softly as she saw it in his eyes.

"She was you," he said quietly. "Even when she did terrible things I still loved her. She killed millions," he closed his eyes to avoid her judgement.

"Millions?" she repeated in shock. She pulled her hands away from Jim's and looked down. "I told you there was a darkness in me. You refused to see it. That thing, that Zerg me, she _is_ me."

"No," he tried. He reached his hands out to her but she pushed herself off the bed to get away from him.

"You promised you'd stop me," she told him.

"I couldn't," he told her. "Even when you made me hold a gun to your head I couldn't do it. When _she_ made me..." he confused himself.

"You see me as her," she surmised and frowned.

"No," he said quickly. "Maybe," he then said reluctantly. "She was dark. She was a bitch. She was all the bad things you could imagine wrapped up in one package. But she wasn't you. She was part Zerg and even then, as I understand it, during those bad times she was under some type of influence of a fallen Xel'naga. It wasn't until she was de-infested that she regained her... your personality back. And she retained that when she re-infested herself. She had all the power in the universe and she could have destroyed everything. Instead she used it to stop Mengsk and defeat an enemy that threatened us all. She died saving us all. In the end, she _was_ you. She was a force of good and of light."

She looked at him sympathetically.

He got off the bed and walked towards her. He put one of his hands on her face and smiled. "You are not dark," he promised her. "I see only light in you."

She couldn't believe his words and she tried to shake her head.

"I see you," he promised.

"Can you," she paused as she debated with herself whether to say it or not. "Can you go?"

He shook his head. He didn't want to leave her.

"Please," she added. She moved her hand to his hand that was cupping her face and gently pulled it away. "Can you get me computer access so I can look at what happened over the last five years?"

He nodded. "I'll get a computer brought to you. If you need me you just gotta call," he told her warmly.

"Thank you," she said softly and walked towards the bed again. She turned to him once more. "Jim."

He looked at her.

"Can you get me some clothes?" she asked. "From somewhere," she added as she realised he'd probably gotten rid of everything she owned.

"Sure," he answered.

She climbed onto the bed and turned away from him.

He looked at her body for a moment and wanted to hold her to him more than anything. But he simply turned and left the room. She had to work what he'd told her out in her mind. He'd give her some time and then he'd be back.


	6. What Happens Now

Jim returned a few hours later and found Sarah on the floor in the corner of the room hunched over a small computer. She was dressed in jeans and a pink top that clung to her in all the right places. "Can I come in?" he asked quietly, not wanting to disturb or upset her.

She looked up at him and nodded.

He smiled at her and felt happy she hadn't sent him away. He walked towards her slowly. "How far are you up to?" he asked, wondering how much of the last five years she'd caught up on.

She turned the small computer around and showed him the current page she was on.

Jim recognised the image. "TarKossia?" he asked. He briefly thought about the woman he had buried there and was now thankful his Sarah Kerrigan wasn't alone in a grave and was in front of him very much alive.

She nodded. "I hadn't really thought about it in years. But I'm glad it made it through all the fighting," she mused as she turned the computer back to face her.

He sat beside her on the floor and said nothing.

"You buried her there," she said softly.

"Yeah," he said quietly. He wondered if she read that from his mind since it wasn't in the computer.

"Really beautiful butterflies," she mused at the memory of chasing them through the fields.

He looked at her and smiled. "The butterflies aren't the only beautiful things from TarKossia," he added.

She blushed ever so slightly and put the computer down beside her.

Jim waited for her to speak but when he realised she wasn't going to he took the lead. "How are you feeling?" he asked slowly.

She looked at him and forced a smile then looked straight ahead away from him. "Honestly, I have no idea." She took a breath and looked at him. "How are you feeling?" she asked him seriously. "This must be hard for you, too."

He laughed. "Many things have been hard. Seeing you here right now isn't one of them." He reached out his hand and took hers. "I'm glad I got you back. I'm only sorry it took so long."

She held his hand tightly. "It means a lot," she said quietly. "It means a lot that you tried to get her back. That no matter what she did you were always there for her. I know she would have appreciated it."

Jim smiled although he felt sad at the memory of her. "She was just like you," he said quietly. He reached out his other hand to stroke her face. "Except the hair," he smiled as he looked at it.

She closed her eyes as she felt the love he had for her and the woman he had thought was her. To him they were the same woman but she felt his grief at losing her and the joy at having her back. She opened her eyes and looked at him. "What happens now?" she asked reluctantly. "The wars are over, so what now?"

"What do you want to happen now?" he asked with a smile.

She forced a smile back before it disappeared into a frown. "Where can I go? Will people see me or the Queen of Blades? The new Dominion isn't bad, right? Will they make me return to the Ghost Program?" she paused and looked at him. "Are we still together?" she asked softly, scared of the answer.

"You and me are always going to be together, darlin'," he promised. "As for the other things; they shouldn't matter. You can go where you want, we'll make people understand it wasn't you, and as for the Dominion... Valerian owes me a favour or two so you won't have to worry about that."

She nodded to show she understood.

"You came back at a good time," he reassured her. "The Dominion under Valerian really isn't bad. No one goes hungry and help is given freely. Sure there are a few problems like crime and hab is still an issue. But we're at peace with the Protoss and the Zerg, and they are at peace with each other."

She nodded again as she thought.

"We're free," he whispered to her.

She forced a smile and looked down.

"What is it?" he asked softly.

"What do I do now?" she answered and looked at him. "I've fought my whole life for someone and they've told me what to do. Now there is no need for me." There was sadness and desperation in her voice.

"I need you," he reassured her.

"I'm not really the stay at home wife baby-making type," she told him with a smile.

He knew that was true and she wouldn't be the Sarah he loved if she was. He'd like to run away with her somewhere and raise a family but he knew she needed something more. "You can do whatever you want. You can choose. But just because we're at peace doesn't mean there are places for old soldiers like you and me."

"Law enforcement?" she surmised.

He smiled. "I know it's not as glamorous as freedom fighting or being a stealthy assassin... but, we don't have to kill anyone anymore. We can sleep easily and look at ourselves in the mirror from now on. Plus there is peacekeeping like what the Hyperion is doing now."

She said nothing and began playing with the bottom of her shirt. "Where did you get the clothes from?" she asked. They fit her perfectly but she didn't like the pink.

"A ghost called Nova," he added.

"I read about her. She captured you, right? Handed you over to Mengsk?" she wondered how she was now wearing her clothes.

"The things she did weren't her fault," he explained. "Dominion had messed with her mind so much she barely even knew what year we were in."

Sarah let out a small laugh. "I can relate to not knowing what year we're in."

"And I'm sure to headmessing, too?" he added.

She nodded. She didn't like to think about that but it was true. Even now she knew she was still affected by the things they did to her. She had read a report about the Queen of Blades attacking a science vessel to obtain Ghost Program data to break some conditioning that was limiting her. She pushed that out of her mind. She didn't want stronger psionic powers - they only ever caused her problems.

"You don't have to decide anything today," he told her. "Take some time. Get used to this new world you've woken up to and we'll find you somewhere to fit in." He laughed. "Maybe we can find somewhere for me to fit in too while we at it."

She looked at him. "An old man like you? Hardly," she laughed. "We'll be two dried up old members of the Sons of Korhal drinking whisky on some backwater planet telling the same old war stories over again."

Jim laughed but then he thought about the whisky. He didn't want to tell her about his problem; he wasn't proud of it.

She heard his thoughts and squeezed his hand. "Let's get out of here. You've got some showing around to do."

"I can do that," he said cheerfully as he stood up.

She stood with him and then froze for a moment. "You gave my quarters away didn't you?" she asked him regretfully.

He gave her an expression that was a mix of a frown and a smile. "You can stay with me," he offered.

She smiled but thought for a moment. "Maybe I should stay somewhere else for the time being," she added. She was very eager to resume their relationship but their first night together had only been a few days ago for her and all this emotional stuff had happened to Jim in the past years; they needed a least some time and space away from each other.

He had to admit he was a little sad to hear she wanted to stay the night away from him but he also didn't want to scare her off. "You can take my quarters," he offered. "I'll find somewhere else to sleep until we can find a better solution."

"Thank you," she said warmly. She thought about hugging him right now. It's what a normal girl would do with her boyfriend, wasn't it? But she didn't. She just held his hand. "Did you eat?" she wondered hoping they could get something more delicious than the toast she had had in the morning.

"Not yet," he told her.

"Then let's go," she smiled at him and headed for the door.


End file.
